Sunday, January 16, 2011

The other stuff

So, the raindrop stuff is sweet and cute.  It happens a lot.  I am, as I mentioned, trying to notice that more.  I love that part of Ashton.  He sees the world in a very special way that I think only select few people get to know about him.  You have to earn trust and it doesn't happen by imposing yourself upon him.  And here it is... the other stuff.  The hard stuff.  The challenges. 
I often get embarrassed by his lack of communication in a given situation.  That's the plain ugly truth.  People expect him to have that back and forth interaction that he doesn't always do and it's difficult.  I am learning to remind myself that he is not doing it on purpose.  He is typically overwhelmed in situations where there are new people or people who he is really not all that familiar with.  You may have seen Ashton a bunch of times and be fine.  But, a bunch of times spread out over a year (for example) means you are a familiar face that he does not know and therefore, does not quite trust.  Plus, if you try to force yourself upon him he shuts down. It pains my heart when people don't understand this.  There is judgement.
Ashton has a handful of wonderful, wonderful people in his life who he has let in, over time.  These people notice what I notice and they tell me about it.  He has awesome grandparents, his grandpa here and my mom and step dad up in Seattle.  I feel they all three know Ashton for who he is.  Part of that might be because in my family sensitivity is familiar.  We have some friends who also have that perspective that you don't run across often.  They relate to Ashton in a different way than most people and he seems to be comfortable being himself around them.  My goal now is to help more people understand and to help Ashton in whatever way I can.  I don't want to change him.  I want to focus on his wonderful strengths and help him to love those things about himself rather than judging himself according to standards that don't work.  

1 comment:

  1. Wow, Jessica! This is so cool that you are doing this! Super insightful and I know this blog will benefit so many other parents, educators, etc that walk this same road with sweet kids like Ashton!
    P.S. I love your "about me" section :)